


Cat Mayhem

by Animerulzs1267



Category: Hetalia - Fandom
Genre: Cat, Comedy, Crack, Hetalia, M/M, Mayhem, Romance, Romantic/Comedy, USUK - Freeform, Yaoi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-09
Updated: 2014-09-09
Packaged: 2018-02-16 17:51:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,507
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2279067
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Animerulzs1267/pseuds/Animerulzs1267
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Britain was just at the park, taking a stroll back home when he comes across a Scottish Fold who turned his life...for the worse in his point of view. Now that Britain pissed his Scottish Fold, its going to now do something totally insane!</p>
            </blockquote>





	Cat Mayhem

Britain is looking at his book, near his window where the sunlight that starts to set in order to end the day lit his whole living room in a glistening orange color. The book is titled Playboy, with the cover of a lady wearing hot pink lace and black bikini that is very revealing to show off her chest that is very large. A pretty lavender blond girl was seductive enough for Britain to buy this. However, he wasn't the one who wanted to buy this yet did so anyway, it was his newly pet cat who came into his life many weeks ago.

"I like the one on the left," Britain said, looking at the short-haired brunette who wore a sexy officer outfit that showed much of her chest.

The cat-who is a Scottish Fold-feel that Britain is completely hopeless when choosing his girl. He is a white cat with a large patch of orange fur extending over much of the left side of his face.

"Are you serious?" the cat said, "I mean-this girl looks hot and all-but she has really weak looking legs or something." He said, and then the cat puts his small cat paw on the right page. "This one's better."

"Are you serious?" Britain asked, raising his bushy left eyebrow. "Her boobs are so flat! This one has huge boobs, almost like Ukraine's boobs, only way better!"

The Scottish Fold looks up to Britain's face, starting to glare at each other as he remains on his lap. How Britain came to this cat wasn't a tale worth even remembering, yet it all started when Britain was taking a stroll in the park…

…

Britain was taking a stroll in the park. The winds in this late afternoon blew cold winds that would make anyone cold, luckily he wore a red, white and blue colored British flag scarf around his neck to withstand the chilly afternoon. The trees all wilted, not a single leaf grew the brown barks of the elderly trees all line up from the park as Britain walks down the stone platform to get home.

Britain stared straight forward. He didn't glance around the park since his main goal is to get home quickly but then suddenly he heard something and stopped his tracks. Britain looked around; he only sees a bench with a box at the edge of the seat.

"What the-?"

Then he heard a cat's meow again. It's coming from inside the box!

"Hello?" Britain called over the box.

Suddenly, the box tilts sideways and out rolls out a cat that seemed in the brink of tears when it tripped out of its box. The Scottish Fold with white fur and orange patch that extended to his left face starts to cry meows, wailing in pain as Britain runs over to the cat and bends over to it.

"Are you all right?" he asked, reaching out for the cat and suddenly, the cat hits his hand but no claws scratched him, only pushed away.

"Leave me alone!" the cat suddenly said…did this cat just talk?

Britain stared at this cat, not reacting suspiciously or behaved rapidly shocked. Instead, he cautiously picks up the weeping cat who stared down at him, confused.

"Are you lost?" Britain asked. "I'll take you home, if you want."

The cat looked deep into Britain's lime-green eyes-they are just like its eyes as well. Britain noticed that this cat also has his eyebrows just like his, and he then smiled to it as he walks away, holding the weeping cat.

…

"Why the bloody hell are you thinking that time?" the cat asked angrily, glaring up to him since he knew what he was thinking.

"Not my fault I was the one that found you," Britain remarked. "By the way, you never told me how you're able to talk like a human." He reminded him. "How can you do that?"

"I don't know," the cat said, burrowing his eyebrows at him. "I just learned how to talk and-poof-I can talk! Now if you'll excuse me…"

The cat suddenly bites the piece of the page where Britain was remarking how good-looking she was and starts to scurry off out the living room.

"Get back here!" Britain shouted, getting out his chair and starts to run after the cat.

Britain suddenly stops, looking over the couch and he sees something that will make that stupid cat come back.

Squeak-squeak!

Britain waited, holding the toy cat he worked so hard making just for his pet and suddenly, the cat stops with the piece of paper with the half nude lady.

"How dare you take Pixie?" Britain's cat squawked in horror. "What have I ever done to you?"

Britain smirked darkly, and he suddenly lets go of the poor toy cat which made Britain's cat run, leap up into the air and grabbed it with his mouth. But when he saved his twin toy looking cat and lands on the ground, he thought of something that will teach Britain not to mess with him anymore. When I do this, I'll make sure you never do such a bloody thing like this, you git! 

…

"Ah, it's time for bed at last," Britain mumbled tiredly, crawling into his bed, getting inside and reached for the cord of the lamp.

But something made him stop. He looked around the room while sitting on his bed; he sees everything in place with his closet at the end and looked over to his lamp stand. Britain then realized something; he doesn't see his cellphone…

Odd, he thought. I know I put it there…so where is it?

Britain gets off his bed, standing barefooted and starts to look around his bedroom to find it. Then, he hears beeping noises that sound like from his phone. He starts to follow the sounds of the beeps, also hearing some chatters of someone in the brown wooden closet now in front of him. Britain opened the door, not afraid of what is inside and sees all his clothes hung neatly on the rack but looks down to see his cat with the phone.

The cat then hits a button. "And send!" he declared with a cat grin.

"What did you just send?" Britain asked, snatching the phone off him.

"Oh, nothing…fufufufu…"

Britain looks at his phone, seeing a text still opened and already sent.

To: America

Subject: -

Text: I want to break up with you, you're mean. :(

What? Britain cried mentally. Then, his phone starts to ring God Save the Queen. Shit, it's him already! 

Britain pushed the green call button and puts it in his ear. "Uh-"

"Britain, what the hell is with this text?" America's voice cried in pain, making Britain feel uncomfortable and guilty. "Do you think I'm gonna let you go and be with some other guy that easily? I'm heading to your house right now, and after I have my way with you tonight, we'll see if you still want to break up!"

And then, America hangs up, only hearing a beeping noise that buzzed in Britain's ear in horror. Britain's cat only chuckles, he heard the whole conversation Britain had with America and couldn't wait to see an enraged America.

"How could you do this to me?" Britain shouts, angered. "What have I ever done to you?"

The devilish Scottish Fold glared up at him with a curious face, showing his lime-green eyes to give out some sort of hint for Britain. Britain's head then shot the memory an hour ago like a bolt of lightning striking dangerously in his mind. Was he really upset about confiscating his pet toy?

"Was it really about the toy?" he asked. "If it is, I'm sorry, you bugger! Now if you'll excuse me, I have to-"

BANG!

"Arthur…" a voice in rage spoke.

Britain felt fearful tears coming out his eyes, he slowly turns his head around to face America wearing his brown bomber jacket and blue rimmed glasses that blurs his sight because of all the steam he gave out from running.

"A-Alfred...?"

America pants. "I've been waiting for this day to finally come..."

...

Britain and America are in the bed, both naked. They had the blanket covering each other and Britain mentally cries about his back going so sore, which he knew he had it coming in the first place. The whole room is dark like the night, Britain is caught in America's arms like vines so he wouldn't try to break free and run away from America. America, for the first time, was the first to sleep first and Britain could smell his scent of hamburgers which made him want to barf right now. I will never, ever make my pet cat made at me for what I did again...

Meanwhile, the demonic Scottish Fold is right outside the door, looking through the creak opened door to see Britain holding onto America tightly around him. My job is done. Finally, now I can sleep with Pixie in peace.

**Author's Note:**

> Yep, that definitely settles how I felt! I wrote this and felt confused like...  
> *wakes up in the morning* What just happened?  
> Britain: You wrote a fanfic, are you ready to publish it?  
> Me: Yeah, whatever it has, just publish it for me...
> 
> I hope you give it some love, see you soon!


End file.
